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More than anything, I think I just want some head space. A chance to escape everything that has become "normal" about my life and get a new perspective on where I have been, where I am at, and where things could go. I will be hitting my 30th birthday this summer... you can spare me the melodramatic condolences... I have dealt with my quarter life crises a few years ago. I am older, a bit more experienced, and perhaps even wiser than I was at the age of prime flippancy in my early 20s. Dare I say that I appreciate life a little bit more than I did then... and I would not want to go back. So this is an opportunity in my seasoned wisdom of 30 years to enjoy where I am at with the people who are with me now.
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it."
Ferris Bueller
Plus I still like a good adventure, and the older you get the harder
it seems to find yourself in one... let alone appreciate it when you
get there. I want to escape my conveniences long enough to realize that
I do not need them. I want to become nomadic and rely on something more
than the systems that normally support and confine my daily activities.
I want to be forced to figure out something new. I want to have to
understand people that live in a truly different cultural and
historical setting than midwest America. I want to go on a journey
that could change me. I want to open myself up to finding a new way to
live or a new focus of energies and direction. I believe that 3 months
could change my life... or anyones for that matter.
Don't get me
wrong, there is nothing all that wrong with my life... I consider
myself very fortunate for everything that has been given to me in the
past few years.
- A community of good friends that are a part of my life
every day and week.
- Mom, Dad, and brothers just a half hour a way.
- A
building understanding and appreciation for the craft of film making.
- The opportunity to enter into meaningful creative projects with my very
best freinds.
- A chance to be a part of the rebirth of Detroit through
the arts and creative community.
- Continually searching out what it
means to be a Christian and enact the church in the culture that I have
found myself in.
All of these are good and exciting in their own
right... and in many ways I already can't wait to get back and get back
to these aspects of my life here in Detroit. But that's where I find myself needing to take pause... I can
be very presumptious in my ways.
I have discovered a variety of
tactics for dealing with life and people... some of them work well and
some of them work too well. For the past 7 years since college, I have
been constructing a sort of machine that supplies the framework and
structure for my life. Some of it just happens naturaly for anyone,
and some of it is specific to how I think and approach life. I suppose
to some degree, I am attempting to take Lucas's warning to heart... and
do something to prevent the next step of me becoming the machine.
I
do not want my life to amount to the systematic conquest of each day
and opportunity in the name of my own progress. You do the same things
the same way enough times in a row and you stop asking yourself why you
started in the first place. I have stopped asking certain questions,
questions that I suppose no one has the right to be done with.
So
then, it is also my hope that in 3 months time... life can become
mysterious again, and I can find some humility in the middle of it.
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Its true, I did not want to cut the grass this summer, but I was home all summer last year and I didnt then as well.
Aliens would be great, especially if they attacked me personally, that would be really something to get you going each day.